I’m so excited. Josh and I are expecting a baby! I told Josh that I was going to wait until Thursday, August 11th to take a pregnancy test, but while picking up some items at Wal-Mart on Wednesday evening my curiosity got the better of me and I bought a pregnancy test to take that night. I came home and headed straight for the bathroom. I decided to heed the advice of that old cliché “a watched pot never boils” and left the room for the 3 minutes it takes for the results. On my way back to the bathroom I said a silent prayer and resolved that it would be okay if it wasn’t positive. Sure enough, it was faint, but the second line was there. I grabbed the instructions (even though I already knew them cover to cover) and scanned for the “pregnant, not pregnant” section. No matter how faint the test line is two lines equal a positive. I even read the instructions in Spanish just to make sure they weren’t leaving something out. I couldn’t wait to tell Josh. I knew he would be skeptical, but I also knew I had the evidence to support the case. I can’t wait for the doctor’s appointment on Sept. 1st to confirm everything. It seems like the days can’t go fast enough.
I’ve been so excited anticipating getting pregnant that I never considered the feelings I would have of fear and sadness right after finding out. Of course I felt excited and relieved, but I also felt fear and sadness. Fear of how our lives will change and knowing that we’re responsible 24/7 of another little being. Sadness because I realize that Josh and I will no longer be alone. It’s not a bad thing because we’ve already decided that our marriage will come first and that we’ll make every effort to have a regular “date night,” but no matter what we do we’ll always have another person on our minds. Those feelings are so minute though compared to the feelings of joy. In all honesty I know I’ll have a lot more emotions running through my mind the next 8 1/2 months, heck for the rest of my life, but I know that’s part of becoming a parent and a family.